VOLUME 5, CURATED BY ANDREW

How do you boil Christmas down to just 97 minutes? Maybe I’m not the best person to ask. I make the annual Christmas day playlist since my family hosts Christmas. That playlist clocks in around 8 hours and I struggle to get everything into that playlist. That aside, there are a few Christmas cuts that are crucial to my annual Christmas listening. My playlist mixes nostalgia-fueled cuts together with the songs I’ve found on my own over the years that resonate with me. It’s largely a mix of gospel and pop with a few touches of jazz and R&B.

Things open with the underrated pop perfection that is Kylie Minogue’s “Christmas Isn’t Christmas ‘Til You Get Here” (if you’ve never heard her Christmas album, don’t hesitate on working it into your rotation). From there the playlist cruises through the necessary Mariah, Aretha, and Nat King Cole which marries my own finds (the former) with classics I’ve been listening to since before I can remember (the latter). Mary J. Blige jumps in to do her best Ella Fitzgerald on “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.” Otis Redding follows with his holiest moans for a “White Christmas.” Vanessa Williams croons over a spirited contemporary jazz rendition of “Hark The Herald Angels Sing,” which leads the way for Celine Dion to deliver her brilliant original, “The Magic Of Christmas Day (God Bless Us Everyone).”

The fare is largely similar from there on out, but a few other cuts are worth noting. Aretha Franklin’s take on “Silent Night” originally appeared on her 2008 Christmas LP, but a decade later marked her first posthumous release just two months after her death as stripped back with just Aretha’s vocal and piano accompaniment. It’s haunting. My favorite contemporary song, “Where Are You Christmas” by Faith Hill also surges through, as does Donna Summer’s understated “White Christmas,” one of the only cuts to appear on the playlist twice. Things close with Aretha delivering the most hysterical take on “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” that you’ve ever heard. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good soundtrack!

LISTEN TO ANDREW’S 97 MINUTES OF CHRISTMAS

Also available on: Apple Music – Tidal

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The holidays are a magical time. When you’re a kid, it’s the most exciting part of the year. Presents! And did I mention, presents? As a result of getting older priorities change, while time has a funny way of de-railing the joy of the holidays. However, one thing that remains timeless through it all is the music. When I think about the holidays, 3 albums come to mind that encapsulate all of the holiday feels. Around Christmas, I get out these three records in particular, ready to play on my old school record player. As I only listen to these albums around December, they are then stored away until next Christmas. These are my top 3 Christmas albums.

Nat “King” Cole The Christmas Song

I’m listening to this album for the first time this year on the day before Thanksgiving, and I feel myself surrendering to the Christmas season. There’s no turning back now. I grew up in an Italian household, so there’s a plethora of Sinatra, Martin, and Crosby circulating throughout the airwaves. However, the one memory that holds strongest is the warm feeling of hearing “The Christmas Song” by Nat crackle through the speakers.

While the title track takes the cake for being iconic, the rest of the album also maintains the same mood. His readings of “Deck The Halls“, “O Tannenbaum“, and “O Little Town of Bethlehem” are definitive, almost flawless. I actually want to cry listening to this album, because it is so beautiful and so nostalgic. Consequently, without oversharing my personal life it evokes an overpowering, yet necessary sense of melancholy. This is the past in my top 3 Christmas albums trilogy.

Vanessa Williams Star Bright

I love me some Vanessa Williams, and I believe that this album is the catalyst (combined with her flawless and festive performance as Ebony Scrooge in VH1’s “A Diva’s Christmas Carol“). I remember being with my mom 20 years ago, and purchasing this at Hallmark in my hometown (I believe it was part of a special). She loves this album, and prior to us becoming another family glued to the TV during dinner, we listened to music while we ate most nights. In December, my Mom puts this in heavy rotation, even to this day.

The album combines elements of new wave, jazz, and pop, with a sprinkle of light gospel. I especially gravitate towards her jazzy take on “What Child is This“, the upbeat and choir-filled “Hark The Herald Angels Sing (Shout)“, and the mood-setting opener “Do You Hear What I Hear?/Little Drummer Boy“. The arrangements are tailored to Vanessa’s rich and warm voice, therefore providing an ideal soundscape for her to showcase her vocal ability. This represents the present in my top 3 Christmas albums.

Mariah Carey Merry Christmas & Merry Christmas II You

Listen, this one is challenging. How do you, the self-respecting Mariah Carey fanatic just choose one? There’s something irreplaceable about the original, however the sequel is just as incredible. I will never forget purchasing Merry Christmas in November of 2001 at Tower Records in Picadilly Circus in London. It was my first time in London, yet my priority at 11 years old was the record store. This was also my first experience hearing this album. Until then, “All I Want For Christmas” was unknown to me. It also took about 7 years to realize that the magnificent acapella album closer “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” is actually a bonus track unavailable in the US.

Mariah has a knack for songwriting and arranging, and Merry Christmas is a stellar showcase of this. She excels on the self-written “Miss You Most (At Christmas Time)“, while effortlessly capturing the vintage sound of Darlene Love’s classic “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)“. Then there’s the elephant in the room: “All I Want For Christmas Is You“. Amongst the set, it sounds like a standout before even realizing what it is (my 11 year old self states that objectively). Consequently, it manages to not eclipse the rest of the album in a full listening. Each song stands strong on it’s own, marrying a mix of pop, soul, and gospel.

The Sequel: Merry Christmas II You

The sequel evokes a different musical tone. It sounds bigger, more expansive, and more produced. The lead single “Oh Santa” uses a formula similar to “All I Want For Christmas”: It’s upbeat, with a vintage feel and layered, multiplied vocals (plus church bells for good measure). She embraces her now-ubiquitous hip hop side with a rousing rendition of “Here Comes Santa Claus/Rooftop Celebration” and shows off her (still in tact) powerhouse vocal chords on “O Little Town Of Bethlehem/Little Drummer Boy Medley” These two albums combined represent the future in my top 3 Christmas albums trilogy.

When I recount Christmases that have passed, and look to Christmases to come, these are the top 3 Christmas albums I want playing, from the day after Thanksgiving until people start yelling at me. I get it, it’s 70 degrees in July and you don’t want to hear it anymore. Too bad.

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Due to a series of unfortunate events, we were unable to sit together. However, we were fortunate enough to obtain tickets and attend this exciting event. What we didn’t know, though, was how unfortunate the night would turn out. When we met up at the end of the show, we looked at each other and expressed our overwhelming feelings of disappointment.VH1 has some explaining to do, because we are still confused as all hell, with broken hearts. Ironically, even Apple’s autocorrect is aware; when you type “Unsilent” into an iPhone, it autocorrects to “Insolent.” It is the perfect adjective to describe VH1 Divas Holiday: Unsilent Night.

in·so·lent
ˈinsələnt
adjective
showing a rude and arrogant lack of respect.

VH1 Divas Holiday: Unsilent Night should be an unforgettable event, yet it turned out to be forgettable. Instead of being an event to rival the epic VH1 Divas concerts o’ the day, the show comes across as a shameless plug for the VH1 brand. Don’t misunderstand, there are a few highlights, but overshadowing them are a glaring waste of opportunities.

When we heard that VH1 was bringing back the Divas brand after a four-year hiatus, we ignited. VH1 Divas is a music history class for the late 90s. This show exposed our 8, 9 and 10-year-old-selves to Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, Chaka Khan, Brandy, Gloria Estefan, Destiny’s Child, RuPaul, Mary J Blige, and more (in some cases for the very first time).

What makes the original Vh1 Divas shows so great is their ability to bring together a diverse group of artists for a night of unexpected performances. Unfortunately, Insolent Night has almost nothing that was “unexpected,” and feels far from organic. It is a very calculated, over-produced, and rehearsed promotion for the VH1 brand and a glaring, painful departure from first set of Divas Live shows

Let us break down the few shining moments (yes, there are some) and numerous disappointments from the show.

VH1 Divas Holiday: The Highs

The Venue

The newly renovated and reopened Kings Theatre in Brooklyn was the venue for VH1 Divas Holiday: Unsilent Night, and it is the perfect stage to set this show. The venue is absolutely breathtaking, perhaps the most beautiful in New York City. While the venue is deep in Brooklyn, it is more than worth the trip for a once in a lifetime event. Consequently, it is pretty sad that the venue is on the list when discussing high points of an event.

The Queen of Christmas

Mariah Carey opened the show with a suitably over-the-top performance of, you guessed it, “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” She literally sleighed her way onto the stage — perched on a sleigh pulled by her hunky male dancers (including rumored new-beau Bryan Tanaka). After she got in position, she stepped off and belted out her self-penned classic. She’s served us a Naughty Nutcracker moment, donning a leotard to show off her amazing legs and a cutout to showcase “Bing and Bong” (her cleavage).  The stage was packed with dancers who assisted Mariah in delivering, as expected, the most festive moment of the night.

No one does Christmas like Mariah, and this performance further cements that. Furthermore if you’re wondering, yes, she sounded absolutely fantastic. It’s a far cry from that ONE, annoyingly over-referenced rough performance of this classic song two years ago. In conclusion, we firmly believe that one song is not enough for a purported headliner, and a second song, possibly a duet with Patti LaBelle, was an obvious piece missing from this Divas puzzle. Considering the show’s short runtime and the song’s iconic stature though, we understand the choice.

JoJo and friends

Up next in the taping was the unlikely trio of the criminally underrated JoJo, Brooklyn-native newcomer Bebe Rexha, and Empire’s Serayah. They performed the Darlene Love classic “All Alone On Christmas.” The trio looked gorgeous, and such a collaborative performance is one of the only “unexpected” moments we received from VH1 Divas Holiday. So for that, we appreciate it. It was cute, and echoed sentiments of a Ronettes/Supremes/Destiny’s Child performance (peep their pose at the end).

In all honestly though, with the exception of JoJo, they felt out of place. It could and should have been better. No shade to Serayah and Bebe – they sounded great and did their thing. Considering JoJo’s 12 years in the game and the pipes worthy of such a claim, she deserved a more prominent performance. Or, at the very least, duet partners of a similar stature and talent. Diana “Wynter” Gordon and Teyana Taylor, who also performed later, would have been much better choices to join JoJo. Or, even better, enlisting Tori Kelly, Solange, Janelle Monae or Emeli Sande (the list goes on) would have improved the special’s star power.

Save The Best For… The Middle

The final highlight of the show comes in the middle: The divine Vanessa Williams made her very first VH1 Divas appearance. Her daughter, Jillian Hervey of LionBabe, introduced her iconic mom, and then the show took a left turn. Vanessa surprised the audience with a performance of her signature song “Save The Best For Last”. The audience went wild, and she sounded great, but why did she perform it at VH1 Divas Holiday? She redeemed that hiccup with an underrated Christmas gem, “What Child Is This”, and again executed it flawlessly.

VH1 Divas Holiday: The Mids

Patti Sang What?

Patti LaBelle is the Godmother of Soul (for those living under a rock). Her performance was, of course killer. She effortlessly showcased her unreal vocal range and reasserted her status as a legend. With all due respect, we have no idea what song she performed (it was great though), and no one even introduced the song. This puzzling move to sing a song that many don’t seem to know is, consequently, what kept her performance from being one of our “highs.”

Patti’s performance was a gospel number, and she took it to church. After Mariah’s performance though, the taping struggled to feel truly festive. Odd setlist choices and other interruptions were the main cause. This was supposed to be Divas Holiday, and it felt anything but festive. Furthermore, at a later point in the taping, the band replayed their part sans Patti, as a result of one of many technical issues that plagued the night.

Wynter Diana Gordon

For those who are unaware of Diana “Wynter” Gordon, she is one of the standout writers on Beyoncé’s Lemonade (“Sorry”, “Don’t Hurt Yourself” and “Daddy Lessons”). Her resume also includes solo work, and songwriting for Mary J. Blige, Jennifer Lopez, and David Guetta. Her VH1 Divas Holiday appearance was brief. A partial, country-inspired performance of “Jingle Bell Rock” (which she performed twice in the taping due to a technical issue) was her contribution to the show. While the creative reimagining of the song was cute, it was very slow… oddly so, for a song called the “Jingle Bell Rock.” One bold audience member tried to do the Mean Girls choreography, and struggled. The rest of us struggled to dance along, in response to the incessant demands of the audience-hype-people.

Remy’s Quick “Hollis”

Remy Ma made a similar appearance, quickly blowing through Run DMC’s classic “Christmas In Hollis.” The performance is incredibly short, and she too performed her cut twice. It probably could have been great. Yet, the brevity coupled with her being regulated to the small b-stage leaves much to be desired, energy-wise. Just as the hype built… it ended.

Teyana’s “Santa Baby”

Teyana Taylor continues to conquer the year after her VH1 Hip Hop Honors show-stealer and appearance in Kanye West’s “Fade” video. While she didn’t steal the show here, she did deliver an enthusiastically sensual performance of “Santa Baby.” Once again, you guessed it, she performed twice due to technical difficulties (much to the frustration of Teyana, her dancers, the crew and audience alike). Most noteworthy, this was the only performance rivaling the festiveness of Mariah’s, and the only other truly recognizable holiday song in the main stage setlist. However, there’s always been something slightly uncomfortable about the innuendo of “Santa Baby,” and Teyana took it to the next level with a Madonna-esque romp on the floor. While it was a fun performance, it wasn’t of the Divas-level vocal calibre.

VH1 Divas Holiday: The Lows

Promotion

First thing’s first regarding the lows: The show was promoted to star Mariah Carey, appropriately, as the headliner for a holiday-themed Divas Live. With appearances from her inspirations, like her “Godmother” Patti LaBelle and Chaka Khan, peer Vanessa Williams, and a worthy torch bearer like JoJo, we expected a lot from this special. There was so much it should and could have been; and it was not. Simply, it became an Insolent Night. Why bother “correcting” the autocorrect when it’s not only especially relevant, but, well… correct?

Chaka

Chaka Khan is indeed a legendary diva, and we were both excited to finally see her live. Sadly, Chaka did not deliver. It hurts our hearts to say it. She restarted”Ain’t Nobody” three times during the taping and did not sound as great as we all know she can. We respectfully hope that she dubs in some improved vocals.

Afterwards, she launched into Aretha Franklin’s “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman,” and Patti LaBelle joined her, much to everyone’s delight. Should be epic, right? Again, something was off and the two don’t quite connect with each other on cues, so the performance came off messy. It felt a bit like we were watching Got 2B Real. Patti LaHelle, is this your doing? In addition, why did Patti and Chaka sing this at a VH1 Divas Holiday? Why did Chaka close the show without performing any holiday music? Surely the pair could have duetted on a Christmas song. Furthermore, “Natural Woman” should only be performed at VH1 Divas like this.

The Finale

Finally, the show ended with a predictable yet disappointing finale: a group performance of “I’m Every Woman”. Ironically, the performance carries on without every woman. Notably absent are Vanessa Williams and Mariah Carey. Mariah’s twins sat a few rows in front of Andrew and left prior to the finale. Mariah was most likely halfway to her TriBeCa penthouse while the remaining Divas closed the show. VH1 Divas Holiday cannot call itself a VH1 Divas show without a finale including all of the performers. It just can’t. We just can’t Do we blame Vanessa and Mariah for leaving? No. Perhaps they realized the insolent decimation that was in progress and opted to go. They didn’t miss much; like the majority of the show, the finale was a nonevent.

Final Thoughts

It’s important to note that we are not regular VH1 viewers – any longer. VH1 educated us in music, but their current programming lacks the same educational and musical focus it had in the late 90s/early 2000s. Gone are the days of back-to-back music videos, Behind the Music, and the like. These days, VH1 relies mainly on “reality” shows that by and large don’t have to do with music, and that’s not really our bag. This year’s show is an upsetting solidification of that fact. VH1 Divas Holiday: Unsilent Night represents the continued destruction of the VH1 Divas brand. This show sinks to the same level of triviality that is now represented by VH1, MTV and BET.

These channels no longer focus on delivering quality music-related programming, and instead deliver disposable television programs with the occasional music-related special program. Sadly, it seems that even now such once-special programs like VH1 Divas are no longer sacred, either. The show was merely a thinly veiled plug for their aforementioned disposable programming. VH1 littered the special with shameless plugs of their other programs instead of focusing on the one thing they seem to forget: Divas, the Holidays and the MUSIC.

To Watch, Or Not To Watch?

With all that said, please do not let us discourage you from tuning in to VH1 Divas Holiday: Unsilent Night at 9pm tonight, though. At the very least, be sure to catch Mariah’s festive opening number… at least they’re kind enough not to make you sit through the whole thing before getting to it. Honestly; truly… VH1 scammed us worse than Joanne the Scammer.

We’d say we’ll tune in and live-tweet the telecast, but both of us have tickets to the opening night of Mariah’s third annual All I Want For Christmas Is You Concert Series at the Beacon Theatre; a show that is truly worthy of the title VH1 Divas Holiday: Unsilent Night. Even if it only stars one diva, Mariah’s all the Diva we need for Christmas. After this disconcerting VH1 Divas “concert,” all we want for Christmas is Mariah from now on (and a dash of Vanessa Williams for good measure).

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The Opportunity

I never thought I’d have the chance to see Vanessa Williams live in concert. I’m a 20 year-strong Vanessa Williams fan, starting with her Christmas album Star Bright, and my favorite Christmas film A Diva’s Christmas Carol. For years I’ve yearned to see her perform live. When she took on the role of The Witch in a revival of “Into The Woods” in 2002, I was lucky enough to be there. Beyond that, it’s always been a dream. I am still ecstatic at scoring tickets to the taping of VH1 Divas: Unsilent Night next week which is a dream in it’s own, and then fate decided to deal me a full house.

On Monday, I caught a tweet from Union County Performing Arts Center. UCPAC is a small theatre with a capacity of less than 1500. The last show I saw there was Ray Charles in 2002. Despite the size, it pulls in some big names. When I saw that they’d be hosting Vanessa Williams live while I’d be home for Thanksgiving, my only thought was “shut up and take my money”.

The Show

Vanessa Williams shows no signs of slowing down. With a career spanning over 30 years, she’s gearing up for a new VH1 show Daytime Divas, and appearing on VH1 Divas: Unsilent Night. Tonight however, she made time to run through her extensive songbook at a small show in Rahway, New Jersey.

Vanessa takes her time throughout the show, while still switching paces and covering her vast catalog. She opens the show with one of her latest songs “The Real Thing” from 2009’s album of the same name, also her latest release. Then we go back to 1988 with a medley of “The Right Stuff” and “Running Back To You”. Nostalgic and entranced is the best way to describe the crowd, as she transitions into her first big ballad “Dreamin'” before cracking a few jokes about how old her Brian McKnight duet “Love Is” actually is.

One of my peak moments arrives next: “Colors of The Wind”. I proudly own the cassingle, and let’s be honest, I’m a 90’s baby and Pocahontas is a staple of my childhood. At this point it’s just incredible to hear how great she still sounds, especially when she reaches into her upper register on “Constantly” and introduces her stellar 7-piece band. Her voice sounds just as good as it ever did. And did I mention how flawless she looks? It’s as if the woman does not age.

She takes a few moments to spotlight her Broadway years, noting that she loves performing on Broadway because she can sing, act, and dance all in one night. After a stellar reading of Lena Horne’s seminal “Stormy Weather” and a few others, she launches into one of the most noteworthy yet unexpected pieces of the night, “Peel Me A Grape”. Her introduction for the song set it up for flawless execution. Vanessa shared that one of her favorite roles to play is Wilhelmina Slater on Ugly Betty (a personal favorite of mine). Hence, she imagines “Peel Me A Grape” as a theme for the character. With lines like “hop when I holler, skip when I snap” and “When I say ‘do it’, jump to it!”, anyone familiar with the character can attest that the song is positively Wilhelmina.

The song served as a the perfect transition back into her pop material. Finally, she took it back to the 80’s with “Work To Do”, the 90’s with “Oh How The Years Go By” and the grand finale “Save The Best For Last”.

Because the show took place on Black Friday (aka fair game for Christmas music) she made my night, returning to perform an encore featuring 2 songs from the Star Bright album. First the title track, and finally my all time favorite, “What Child Is This”. The perfect end to a stellar set, and in conclusion, the ideal kickoff to the holiday season. If you have the chance to see Vanessa Williams live, do it.

Furthermore, if finally seeing Vanessa Williams live wasn’t enough, I somehow found myself backstage after the show and got a chance to meet her. I’m still processing and reliving our moment doing diva faces while she snapped a selfie of us.

Vanessa Williams Live at UCPAC In Rahway, NJ

Set List (Click the links for our video footage!):

The Real Thing

The Right Stuff/Running Back To You

Dreamin’

Love Is

Colors Of The Wind

The Sweetest Days

The Comfort Zone

Constantly/ Band Introductions

Stormy Weather

Bill

Losing My Mind/ Not A Day Goes By

Peel Me A Grape

Work To Do

Oh How The Years Go By

Save The Best For Last

Encore

Star Bright

What Child Is This

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